Is it populated entirely by perverted sexual deviants, serial killers, prostitutes and scammers as rumors insist? Or can two regular people really make the connection that the section's name suggests? I should admit that I had no intention to actually hook up with someone, should the opportunity arise, if for no other reason than it would be inappropriate and manipulative to an unwitting partner to do so and write about it.
But it's not a stretch to say that even if you abstain from the goal, spending a week on Casual Encounters can teach you a lot about human beings and how the web has changed how we pursue one of our most essential and important desires.
It goes without saying that the content of this article is not intended for children or those made uncomfortable by such topics. But if you're interested, read on for the story of my seven days on Craigslist's Casual Encounters — my failures, near misses, discoveries, insights and successes. Following that, I interviewed two women to learn how they used the site successfully for their own fulfillment. Each day I tried a different approach to see what would be most effective, though I never lied or posted fake photographs.
One day my message was intended to be sweet and normal; I suggested starting with drinks and fun conversation to see if we had chemistry, then going back to my place to cuddle on the couch with a movie and see where that led. Another day, I described it as a rebound. In yet another, I explicitly detailed sexual activities and used very aggressive language.
Ultimately, only the "sweet and normal" was successful, even though very few posts by women had that same tone more on that later. I received about a half-dozen responses each day. Most were scams, some were men, some were prostitutes, and just one was legit. All the responses I got from real people on my first day weren't from women — they were from men. I made it very clear in my post that I was only interested in women, but a large number of men chose to ignore that. They all offered oral sex.
I responded to them politely, saying, "Just interested in women, but thanks for the offer! Have a good one. I began to suspect that no women actually used the site. The stereotype is that women are interested in relationships, and that only men would be interested in totally casual sex, right? We know that's not true, though. In fact, I was inspired to write this article when a friend told me many of her female friends had owned up to using it. Over the next couple of days, I actually received a lot of posts from women.
Or at least, they said they were women. To be honest, I doubted the veracity of the claims. It didn't take long to realize that almost all the replies I received were scams. The situation is so severe on Craigslist Casual Encounters that posts by real women who are actually seeking hook-ups are often flagged for removal at the slightest cause for suspicion. The most common scams are "safe dating" websites. An alleged woman will write a man saying she's interested, but that because of the Craigslist-based serial killers and rapists in the news, she needs some extra assurance that it's safe.
If you follow the link she provides, the website asks you for your credit card number — y'know, so it can do a background check to make sure you're not a criminal. One individual tried to get me to buy him or her virtual currency in online games like MapleStory before agreeing to hand over contact information. Yeah, right — moving on! What little luck I'd had so far. The week was half over and I hadn't had a single bite.
I decided I would have to take the initiative, so in addition to posting my own ads, I started responding to every ad from any woman who seemed at all interesting. I cast a wide net in my searches, looking up posts by straight or bisexual women between the ages of 18 and 35 who lived anywhere in Chicagoland — a large metropolitan area that's home to close to five million females.
Most of the women wanted something very specific they couldn't find in their normal lives: Someone to help play out a particular fantasy, someone vastly older than them or someone of another race. Very few of the women who were advertising seemed to be looking for anything I would consider a "normal encounter.
I typically wrote two or three paragraph replies and matched the tone of their own messages, then attached a couple of tasteful photos of myself. I didn't get a single reply from an actual prospect this way. It turned out that most of the ads were fakes from scammers, and quite a few fell into another category all together.
Prostitution is what made Craigslist controversial. There's technically another section for that — "Adult Services," formerly "Erotic Services" — but that's not the only place you'll find practitioners of the world's oldest profession. The prostitutes of Craigslist speak in code, but it's not a difficult one to learn.
They advertise "French lessons" — an odd thing to advertise under "Casual Encounters," don't you think? Well, it's obviously a euphemism for something else. Many of the ads that weren't from scammers were from prostitutes. The ads are so obvious that it's surprising the euphemisms are effective in fending off law enforcement. Then again, maybe they are law enforcement.
Amidst all those failures, I had one near-success. A woman wrote in response to my sweet "cuddling first" ad saying she was in town for only a couple of months, and that she was frustrated she couldn't find a relationship. When she sent her pictures, she looked plain but attractive.
We exchanged a couple of e-mails over the course of two hours, tossing back and forth lists of interests and the like. She made it clear that she wanted to meet up, and while she talked about starting slow, it was clear that it would indeed be a casual encounter. But when I suggested a time to meet — the last message from me before I would reveal myself and back out — there was no reply.
To get the most out of the site and set yourself up for casual sex encounters, edit your Cupid Preferences, which will ensure you see only the individuals within the vicinity and with the type of preferences and attitude you are looking to meet. Read our full Passion. The site has a massive member base and is a notch down on the sexually-focused spectrum than sister site XMatch.
The site is setup for casual sex in nature and has no shortage of media or members to entertain sexual fantasies. Read our full FriendFinderX review. Get It On is basically a large classified database featuring other horny members looking to hook up. Unlike other sites, the site does try to match you with members with whom you are sexually compatible.
Upon signup, users complete a short multiple choice questionnaire, which tells the site which sexual activities you are interested in, have tried, or absolutely need in a match. To ensure the site is always of use, you can set multiple geographical locations, such as your residing location and travel location.
Members communicate and show interest by hotlisting other members, sending private emails, or sending flirts, making it easy to get the conversation going by the method of your choice. The hook up site is complete with various search features, live webcams and videos, and the ability to see who viewed your profile.
The site is very video-dominant featuring an R-Rated section of explicit videos as well as links to other video streaming sites.
Members can communicate by private messaging or live video chatting. Additionally you can search for members or play a hot or not style swiping game, and the site conveniently saves a running list of all members you have looked at previously. If someone strikes your interest, easily add them to your fav list, allowing you to keep a saved list of members you like. The site also allows you to see who has viewed your profile, providing an easy way to gain access into who has found you interesting but might not have been bold enough to initiate the conversation of course allowing you if desired.
On any profile you can show interest by clicking the heart icon, which brings up a selection of messages to send such as We Should Chat, Call Me, and You are Hot.
Learn more at iHookup. While you may think being secretive and playing the hard to get to know card works in your favor, it actually backfires when it comes to arranging sexual situations. A potential partner needs to know that she is safe first and foremost, before any sexytime talk comes up, and your profile is the area to express just that.
The best profiles contain the recent photo you have where you think you look the best, photos with friends to show you are social, and photos showing you enjoying any noteworthy hobbies or interest that you have. Your best picture should be one where you look attractive and are showing off your best features, but in general trying too hard to look sexy and seductive just comes off as creepy to women, so be sure to stay on the safe, masculine side of that line.
And no, no nude photos are not necessary. You want to leave her intrigued and guessing about some things. Overall you want your photos to express that you are a normal, well-rounded human being, and one who can be trusted for any type of casual sex. Next comes the profile information. This is where you can be a little more blunt, if desired. Profile length also confuses most people. The more detail you give, the less she has to learn and discover about you, which can be a turn-off.
The best profiles keep bio information simple and to the point, but weave in a little wit and charm... 27 Jan That's the promise of the "Casual Encounters" section of Craigslist. Or, " Looking for that special gal no strings attached, like to have intimate talks be I' ve had through all the Internet dating sites I've been on over the years. Where to Meet People for Casual Dating Without Strings Attached? my magic to meet women who I've met up with for dates that led to casual encounters. 11 Nov How can you be sure a no strings attached casual fling is really right for to find your casual sex friends through an online adult dating website.