I sure wish I could just post a personal ad in the same vein with similar results. If even this site is having such headed debates about whether FWBs are ethical, imagine what the conversation is in the rest of the world.
Very well written article — thank you. Or does it very from couple to couple… arrangement to arrangement? Thank you in advance for any feedback. I liked the article but most of all i liked the fact that author emphasized honesty and respect. Honestly in communication and respect in all types of communication when you are involved in FWB relationship. Sharing with friends — my equally sexually liberated male and female friends. We get you, but always good to share in our networks and as a reminder as why this way of living and loving is so very good.
Lacan had something to say about this. The comments that followed her story turned out to be a flame war that could have ignited a fire […]. I consider myself to be a very politically, fiscally, socially, morally, and religiously progressive person. I am open-minded, and try very hard to be non-judgmental. I also think, as a progressive religious person Reform Judaism that traditional religious prohibitions on pre-marital sex and masturbation are not just wrong, but actually harmful and even evil.
However, I am not on board with the notion that purely casual, no-strings-attached sex has the potential to be ethical or permissible. Jordan, I tend to share some of your views. Simply because I do not feel government should have the right to determine who can get married and who cannot. State governments should not even be in the business of issuing marriage licenses, period. On a moral level due to religious beliefs I simply cannot accept homosexuality.
However, I am not willing to go out and crusade against it. Hi Jules Thank you. I wish I could comment on all the points the rabbi makes but that will make my comment to long and the two of us will bore the others with our long conversations. But read this article. At the end it becomes interesting. He writes the Primate Diaries blog for ScientificAmerican. Thanks for the Slate link. I read the piece and found it to be interesting. The problem I have with evo psych or evo bio is that it tends to ignore most of reality today.
For example, due to contraception, women can pick and choose the who, when and where about there reproduction. Also, women can choose to voluntarily be in poly relationships independent of the provider status. Hi Jules I think it is fine that people today have several option.
The couples spend time together in the weekends, and in the holidays. If they feel like it they meet during the week also of course. But obviously they have separate households, separate economy. Although a few comments may have ruffled my […]. I guess you are one of the polyamorous people. It turns out surprise! My question is how emotionally and sexually satisfying they are.
I read a bit on Robins blog. Somewhere she stated she was an English professor. I also began to wonder if she is real! Some of these stories read like made up stories and fantasies.
She states that she does not host? Well, I read on her blog about her encounter with a professional major league baseball player. She clearly describes how he arrived at her apartment at 2: So, she does host!
Hi Jules Like you I felt this is not real. But I think her blog are mode up of articles written by others and she is open about that, she is the editor only. Many of the articles there are not written by a person with good language skills, or sexual experience. Several places a read sex scenes when the woman describes that the man first had anal sex with her and then penetrated her vagina. I am no into anal sex, but have learned that this is no no, due to hygien. I agree with you Iben. I ask this in all seriousness.
I realize people have different sex drives and fetishes. But, why does it have to be with partners? I would much prefer it to be with someone whom I care about. I do not believe in treating human beings in a casual manner. For me it is about dignity. When you do, I want you to consider the spirit in which it was written. I took your advice and re-read your piece.
While I did get a little bit more out of it, its substance remains the same: However, it is still about casual sex i.
Yes, people can and in fact do have casual flings in the manner you have written. How can we discuss such things with your imposed judgement? First, I want to explain to you that the articles on her blog, except for a few guest posts, are written by Ms. I know this because I have had the opportunity to interact with her over a long period of time, both publicly on blogs, twitter, etc.
I want to discuss what is a sex friendly society. Are there any sex friendly societies on this earth today? What models for society can we imagine and work towards. It is best to set boundaries for one self and not for others, we can agree on that G. Do you really think that increased orgasms for your fellow women is really going to lead to the degradation of society? Why must there be multitudes of different partners over a short period of time, if increased orgasms is REALLY the objective?
The choice is hers. I agree with you. But it is possible we persons are very different sexually, and some need a stranger to feel intense feelings. And old friend of my used to say when he got drunk: Do I condemn perfectly normal sexual behavior because I see red flags when men want causal sex only? I asked a specialist if it is atypical sexual behavior if a woman prefers causal sex only.
Here is his answer:. Cantor is a psychologist and sexual behavior scientist. Associate professor of Psychiatry…. Hi Robin In the western societies we have many different types of relationships between men and women that includes sex.
And you end with saying: Iben These are very reasonable points that you are making. If there was security and passion with the life-long partner, would there really be a need for these other alternative? The reason is because the marriage was sexless and passionless. Had there been sex and passion I would still be married. Are you suggesting people some want to have there cake an eat it to? I guess these are all the alternatives you speak.
Reading this articulate, well written post on on what is best described as a difficult subject, and was completely taken aback by the vitriol filled comments, more specifically how personal they were. Robin, Just what purpose is served from having sex with tons of different men?
Are you just a highly sexual woman who is in constant need of variety and novelty? So many women seem to think it is some kind of rite of passage to have lots of casual sex with lots of different men. Not to judge you, but the whole thing seems down right nasty and decadent. Your serious lack of self esteem is apparent in your writing. Please refrain from your harmful advice and stop writing.
You need to re-examine your life and values before you dole out advice to anyone. I hope you get the support you need to be healthy in the future. Why do so many people like you have disdain for people who do not adhere to the utilitarian view of life? I live by the Law. In my personal case, it is the Law of Moses and the Prophets.
If you wish to be amoral, so be it. But, I as a citizen of this damn Republic, am free to say what I damn well wish and believe.
Same for you too buddy! It is hard to understand how you feel it is safe to bring a steady steam of new strangers into your home. Craigslist is not seen as safe. Not everyone on Craigslist is a serial rapist, for crying out loud, so stop making it into this cesspool of humanity.
Your frank judgment of her actions is more telling of the person you are and not the person she is. All of the dating sites have rapists, murderers and just psycho people that have something that gets them off…so we all must beware! I see it is a dangerous way to live. And I would expect some of the men to use me,not show me respect.
That is how I feel,and that is my personal opinion. That strategy does not work with me Cara. She may feel safe because despite the scare mongering the vast majority of men are not rapists waiting to strike.
He takes ,uses her and leave. And I have no problems in admitting that I am against prostitution for several reason. What a man,child or woman must do for living under deep poverty is one think,I do not condemn persons that have to sell their body to survive.
But I am against it as a legal job in a Western country when we still have other alternatives to earn money. She means he has sex with her without respect and without giving. Now in situations where one is looking to do that to the other but without being upfront about it that is certainly a problem.
This issue is complicated. I am not read up on research and seldom read news about discussion about for and against making prostituion legal. Of course I am against exploited labour. That question is an insult. Write an article then let many give us more facts about prostition. Yes a lot of them are. But are you ready to just assume they all are? Maybe you sell sex, or dream of selling sex. I share the same view s you have on prostitution.
But, this is our history as men. We have always sought to do one another in via wars etc. To the victor go the spoils including the women. When I wrote that many prostitutes are victims of childhood sexual abuse , or have problems like addiction drugs I used the word many.
Overall you are saying that you are against legalizing prostitution. That affects all prostitutes, not just the ones that are victims of childhood abuse and addiction. You see the difference right? I live in a democracy and use my vote and my voice.
States that choose to have laws that say it is illegal to buy sex have lots of reasons for doing so, the welfare of the men and women in prostitution is only one of the reasons. After telling me to marry a prostitute to show my respect for them? I never said there were no other valid reasons. Our exchange just happened to focus on wellbeing.
I still really enjoy it. So I guess it is an addiction. You make me feel so good about myself, like I have really pleased you, too. I feel fine, very happy and relaxed after seeing you. I worry about you a lot.
When their relationship broke down three years later, she found herself struggling to bring up two children on her own. She admits that escorting has not only helped her financially, but has made her a stronger and more confident person.
She sees around 12 clients a week at their homes or in hotels, and relies on word of mouth to get custom. Sabia describes him as easy to talk to with a lovely deep voice and soft northern accent. My wife and I have a very good marriage. The problem is, I need more sex than she gives me.
So coming to you seems like a good compromise — a way of getting what I need without letting my wife down. I justify what I do by reminding myself that I work hard all day, so coming to see you is my reward for being a good husband and father the rest of the time. Who you are and what you are makes the experience fascinating. When I turned 40, my friends bought me a certificate for a massage at a sports centre.
I loved it — it was very sensual. That led me to find people who gave more of an intimate service, so to speak. I feel liberated about it. I really care about you and I hope that comes over when we meet. She caters for 15 clients a week and advertises her services on the Internet and in magazines.
She is currently saving up to open her own clinic. Maria admits that David often takes her out for meals and occasionally buys her flowers or small gifts. Yes, well, not only that. We went to the cinema together last week. It is about you as a person as well. It is not as easy for me to separate the emotional side from the physical as I thought it would be. Yes, I like you a lot. About four years ago, I met someone I really cared about and ended up getting hurt. After that, I made up my mind that I would never let that happen again.
You mean my ex, Lisa? I never felt as close to her as I do to you. I would like to think that I would stop coming to see you if I did find myself in a serious relationship with a woman, or was thinking of getting married. I just wanted to see what prostitutes were like and so I went after a stag night one weekend.
The girl I got was nice, like you, so I just kept coming after that. I feel good about myself, and generally much more relaxed. I enjoy coming here a lot. I wish I could come and spend the whole day with you or, ideally, take you away for a whole weekend.
But I could never do that because I could never afford your prices. A few hundred quid for a few hours is just about as much as I can pay.... If you decide to engage in an ongoing casual sexual relationship, make sure the lines of communication are open and the intent is absolutely clear. She started ten years ago, after her former husband stopped paying maintenance and she found herself struggling to raise their two children. Do you really think that increased orgasms for your fellow women is really going to lead to the degradation of society? She is currently saving up to open her own clinic. He writes the Primate Diaries blog for ScientificAmerican.